Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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