foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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