I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
