i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
