I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
