Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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