Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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