That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize