Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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