You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
