I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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