are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
