i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
