soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In other news, I just burned my penis
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize