There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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