I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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