It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
