Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
