what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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