so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
