when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
