I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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