I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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