I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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