So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
