Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
