The maid of honor just puked.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Randomize
