covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
