I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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