6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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