No stitches, just platelets and will power
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
