What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
