Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
