How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
