Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
