Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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