the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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