Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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