Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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