So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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