Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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