lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
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She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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