plz talk dirty to me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
