Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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