my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
