is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize