Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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