o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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