You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
