a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
