So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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