Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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