I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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