He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
