a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So much Jack, so little girl.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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