and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
