I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so let's talk penis.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
