I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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