Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
