just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize