the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
