I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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