i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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