I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
