I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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