I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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