Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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