Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
