if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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