I like to think it a success when the cops are called
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
