all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
where are my eyebrows?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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