Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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