it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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