he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
