Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you never un-have a 4some
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
