just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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