Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go