i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.