How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.