Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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(+61): View more from Australia

i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be

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(310): View more from California

While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(469): View more from Texas

The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems

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(314): View more from Missouri

He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar

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