..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night