if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
me + whiskey = a bad person
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
