Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Most awkward sex ever...

  (314): View more from Missouri

  And im texting you in the middle.

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  (314): Most awkward sex ever... (314): And im texting you in the middle. http://tfl.nu/fp1w
  Replies (36) Good night (806) Bad night (4059)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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  (612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g
  Replies (3) Good night (3563) Bad night (677)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.

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  (954): Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube. http://tfl.nu/0ubi
  Replies (38) Good night (683) Bad night (4692)
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  (415): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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  (415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t
  Replies (76) Good night (9919) Bad night (930)
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  (619): View more from California

  my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

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  (619): my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew. http://tfl.nu/qfs0
  Replies (35) Good night (8423) Bad night (1916)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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  (724): I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it! http://tfl.nu/y71c
  Replies (3) Good night (4102) Bad night (1160)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.

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  (678): I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup. http://tfl.nu/z0w1
  Replies (7) Good night (3222) Bad night (833)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.

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  (904): Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience. http://tfl.nu/i4o0
  Replies (5) Good night (1889) Bad night (854)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."

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  (206): Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't." http://tfl.nu/2qab
  Replies (3) Good night (1841) Bad night (627)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.

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  (774): Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist. http://tfl.nu/bzfc
  Replies (9) Good night (3856) Bad night (1285)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?

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  (+44): You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman? http://tfl.nu/pxap
  Replies (1) Good night (1008) Bad night (744)
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  (951): View more from California

  It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.

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  (951): It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set. http://tfl.nu/pz4i
  Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (285)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.

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  (360): Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve. http://tfl.nu/vuq2
  Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (180)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too

  (613): View more from Ontario

  This was before halftime

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME

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  (613): Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too (613): This was before halftime (613): I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME http://tfl.nu/8vn8
  Replies (5) Good night (1082) Bad night (212)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do one night stands count towards my number?

  (516): View more from New York

  Yes. A penis is a penis

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Even bad ones?

  (516): View more from New York

  YES.

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  (217): Do one night stands count towards my number? (516): Yes. A penis is a penis (217): Even bad ones? (516): YES. http://tfl.nu/iyle
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (322)

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