Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl. http://tfl.nu/cxal
  Replies (23) Good night (1511) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother http://tfl.nu/1acl
  Replies (21) Good night (2184) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs http://tfl.nu/cj7x
  Replies (29) Good night (4386) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/sgbo
  Replies (11) Good night (4303) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again. http://tfl.nu/nufk
  Replies (9) Good night (4241) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name. http://tfl.nu/27vq
  Replies (15) Good night (5522) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago" http://tfl.nu/h89t
  Replies (46) Good night (2069) Bad night (7879)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him http://tfl.nu/st8n
  Replies (10) Good night (2927) Bad night (1754)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/pj90
  Replies (8) Good night (1159) Bad night (4012)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused. http://tfl.nu/8r68
  Replies (2) Good night (3739) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+35): I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act http://tfl.nu/3xru
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd
  Replies (8) Good night (1832) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex. http://tfl.nu/7adn
  Replies (2) Good night (1722) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor. http://tfl.nu/zxit
  Replies (3) Good night (1056) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/w8ll
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (270)

Randomize