Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We're too hungover to prance.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it