Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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  (415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (1085)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"

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  (678): I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute" http://tfl.nu/6gqy
  Replies (10) Good night (1580) Bad night (3437)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I wish i was in the wii world.

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  (402): I wish i was in the wii world. http://tfl.nu/send
  Replies (5) Good night (2721) Bad night (824)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Good morning to you

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  (203): Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday? (1-203): Good morning to you http://tfl.nu/rc7c
  Replies (12) Good night (4936) Bad night (2200)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3191) Bad night (1533)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

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  (832): Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is. http://tfl.nu/odjy
  Replies (9) Good night (4045) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.

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  (818): All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since. http://tfl.nu/jafz
  Replies (7) Good night (982) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  This has been a Party Success Story

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  (719): The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets. (719): This has been a Party Success Story http://tfl.nu/swco
  Replies (7) Good night (967) Bad night (256)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?

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  (+44): Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today? http://tfl.nu/cfiq
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (536)
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  (516): View more from New York

  No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.

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  (516): No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it. http://tfl.nu/ephi
  Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (311)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Blow job season was short but glorious.

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  (214): Blow job season was short but glorious. http://tfl.nu/338e
  Replies (8) Good night (505) Bad night (230)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face

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  (917): I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face http://tfl.nu/busq
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.

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  (716): Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now. http://tfl.nu/i6pt
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (212)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her

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  (902): I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her http://tfl.nu/dzic
  Replies (6) Good night (649) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.

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  (218): If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/s3qv
  Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (220)

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