I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
