You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
