Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
In America we eat man semen.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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