Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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